Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
3) If it looks like 6 buckets of paint exploded over a canvas, then beware. (Coughing while saying Pollock)
4) It consists of only 2 or three colored shapes or even worse, a blank canvas.
5) If people have to assure you that you made a great investment despite the fact you just paid a million dollars for a mockery.
Monday, December 14, 2009
I came across this picture while looking for cell phone photos online. I am usually against self-mutilation, but this guy makes a strong case for the win-win partnership of gauging and hands free phone use.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Over time there have been a plethora of spilled substances, and I won't go into detail about them in case you are eating something now, but they have all left their mark on the carpet. Just last week while walking up the stairs I found a plate of pancakes and syrup that a two year old had turned upside down on the carpet. The sad thing is, it didn't make any difference. It really can't get any worse. We've had the carpets cleaned many times but after a short time they return to their disgusting nature. You know it's bad when your dirty carpet not only mocks you, but the ripped seams in it also trip you when you walk by.
The dilemma I have is that we are not dirty people (despite the attached photographic evidence) and this disgusting carpet is starting to bring me down like a depressing country song or a bad hair day. Sometimes when I see it, I feel like Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes and I want to collapse on the ground screaming "It's a Madhouse!" My wife hates it even more than I do. It is so bad that it has kept us from entertaining friends or having people over. We are afraid that if someone sees it we will lose our country club membership or will no longer be invited to the Oscars each year.
Our neighbor was replacing her old carpet and I used some of her old carpet pieces and put them over some sections of our carpet and now I feel like I live in the Taj Mahal when I walk on those areas. I also realized how bad of a job I did and it wouldn't surprise me to find my handiwork ending up on There I fixed it.
So, if you have recently been complaining about the condition of your flooring, I just thought I'd give you a little perspective and let you know that it could be worse. Sorry to share such a nasty pictures, but at least this post wasn't titled "the world's hairiest back", or "the world's worst rash." You're welcome.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Aside from the potential social stigma, I also hate the sensation of blowing my eardrums out. I have to admit I'm just not a very good nose blower. I know that nose blowing has it's place. People who sniffle all day and make nasty mucus related noises can be more offensive that the noisiest nose blowers. I think it is ironic that I'm so sensitive to this subject since I not only enjoy, but endorse loud vigorous sneezing.
Some people are unabashed nose blowers and have no problem doing so in a social setting, even while they are addressing a large group of people. I think it is an age thing. Usually the older generation is guilty of this. Many of these people are also the ones who carry cloth handkerchiefs in their pocket. I appreciate the concept of being prepared, but in a day and age of everyone being hand sanitizer freaks, and coughing into their shoulder, I think it is time for the cloth handkerchief to go the way of the dinosaurs.