Tuesday, March 11, 2014

My Random Thoughts

I've had several random thoughts and insights recently and thought I'd share some of them with you. Feel free to either skim over them for mere entertainment or you can really study them for the deeper meaning and then apply what you learn to your life for amazing results.

I have never cared for the phrase "brown noser". It has an unsavory connotation but I think an even more disturbing name for someone who sucks up to a person to gain favor is "boot licker". When I imagine someone licking a person's boots I find it very disturbing.

Confession: Even though it was never cool, I actually liked school lunch as a kid. I could never understand what high class French restaurant my fellow 5th graders must have eaten at on a regular basis to make them look down on giant vats of mashed potatoes and gravy. I guess I was just hungrier than them.

What if you were alone at sea in a life raft like in The Life of Pi and the only survival rations you had was one months worth of cotton candy and rice cakes but then a big storm came and the rain and waves simply dissolved your food supply? That would suck.

What kind of dirt does Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Danny Elfman have on Tim Burton? I have nothing against them but seriously, every movie?

I have zero respect for people who are eagerly applauding in the audiences of infomercials. Their fake enthusiasm sickens me.

I was making fun of AOL the other day and a person in the room said she still had an AOL account. I felt a little sheepish so I tried changing the subject and told a story how a customer at work asked that I e-mail her some information and she had an e-mail address something like foxy16@hotmail even though she was now an adult with kids. The same person I had previously offended minutes before said she also had "foxy" as part of her e-mail. I decided to shut up and stop talking for a while.

Whenever I'm on YouTube and reading comments I always get a kick out of the spammers who expect you to click on their link. They usually say something really stupid like "Imagine when my friends said I couldn't make money on the interwebs...." I always stop right there. Please don't call the Internet the interwebs or the world wide web. Just say online please.

I think Bradley Cooper, Brad Pitt, and Hugh Jackman are good looking guys but I'm not gay.

I would hate to die and get to heaven and then find out I was going to be judged by people like Simon Cowell, David Hasselhoff, Christina Aguilera, and Celo Green.

If I were to write a sit com for TV I would call it "the predictable mind numbing unfunny series for stupid people who are easily entertained" I bet most of the viewers wouldn't even take offense with it.

One of the ideas I'm toying with is SmellBook. It's a mix between Facebook and scratch and sniff stickers that allows you to share the important smells in your life with your friends.

I like old school 80's music but I don't like REO Speedwagon. However, I am also a coward so if I ran into that band while they were performing at a children's fair or a mall opening I would probably not want to hurt their feelings and I'd just keep quiet. I'm not saying I go to mall openings or children's fairs, I was just trying to insinuate that they might be a little washed up and are not playing at big venues like they used to. I guess that attempted insult may have backfired on me and I'm too lazy to hold down the delete key for 4 lines of words.

Confession 2: I like Children's Fairs and finger puppets.