Wednesday, March 30, 2011

White Crayons???

Let me get straight to the point. I think white crayons are useless! I am not a crayon expert, but the only time I have ever seen them used was back in grade school when kids did Halloween art projects and drew ghosts on the black construction paper. Aside from that one scenario, I think they are just a waste.

I suppose if someone was going to kill me and I wanted to leave a secret message that the murderer wouldn't notice, I could always use a white crayon to write who my murderer was. Then when the CSI guys came to the crime scene with their ultraviolet lights, they might be able to read the message, but I'd rather not focus on such a far fetched scenario to try and find a good use for white crayons.

Putting a white crayon in the crayon box is kind of like buying a dozen donuts and then realizing that one of them is actually an onion flavored bagel. In case that great analogy didn't work, imagine buying a bag of otter pops and then you notice one has no juice in it, but is just filled with air. I think I've made my point with these two powerful and persuasive images.

I'm going to start a new trend. When you are looking for a descriptive phrase like as "clean as a whistle" or "as cute as a june bug", (both of which are horrible I might add), I suggest you start using the phrase "as worthless as a white crayon". I'm pretty sure it will catch on.

I just hope the people at Crayola don't put a price on my head after reading this post. In case something does happen to me, I know how to secretly tell the police who was responsible.

26 comments:

Eric said...

I know of a use for white crayons, but I'm still going to adopt your expression because everyone will instantly understand.

You can blend the white with other colors to make them lighter or 'tint' them. A clear crayon, now that would be totally useless I think.

ps - Does anyone else like it when they name colors after things or people?
I want a box with 'Cheney White'...

Ocean Girl said...

You are too funny. I really cracked up from A to Z of your post.

I just came across a whiter shade of pale - the song - but that could be one use of a white crayon.

Kristina P. said...

I make the teenagers I work with do collages a lot. They use the white crayon on colored construction paper. It really helps their bong have more character.

M-Cat said...

Love this. First off - the whole june bug thing - really? Whoever thought a bug was cute? And can you imagine how a little person's feelings might be hurt if you compared them to a bug?
That whole phrase is as worthless as a white crayon.

So using this ALL DAY LONG!

Brilliant

Cheeseboy said...

As a first grade teacher, I can assure you that they do get used. It's not until about mid second grade that the kids realize that the paper is already white and that they don't need to color it white further.

Oh, and the ghost thing too.

Kelly said...

Most of the time the white crayon is useless as a white crayon but what about at Easter time when you want to write on the egg before coloring it? Then it becomes as valuable as a very valuable thing that I cannot think of at this moment....

TS Hendrik said...

They've never done anything for me. I've tried using it to lighten other colors and it just doesn't work well like that either. They are pointless.

Deborah said...

I've made my point with these two powerful and persuasive images ... yes you have :o) LOL ... this is so so funny and you wrote it BRILLIANTLY!
(still laughing ... genius!)

Kal said...

The only crayon worse than a white crayon is a silver crayon. That is so useless.

RJR said...

Apparently the white ones taste nicer than the red ones... just kidding and this comment has now become as useless as a white crayon :)

Fellow A-z blogger
John

RJRDaydreamer

Kirk Rogers said...

HAHA so true

Monica said...

Found you from the A-Z Challenge, it sounds like it’s going to be so much fun and I can’t wait to get started!! I’m now following your blog on GFC and I hope you have a chance to check out my blog and maybe follow me back!!
Monica
http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/

Shana said...

You are a funny guy

baygirl32 said...

white is definatly the least used crayon in the box, however in her younger years it was kiddo's fav to use when writing on the walls

found you through the A to Z challenge, gonna stick around for a while!

http://baygirl32.blogspot.com

Giggle, Laugh, Cry said...

Hi. I found you on the A-Z Challenge as I'm there too.
gigglelaughcry.blogspot.com

nutschell said...

love the catchphrase.:P I think white would look good on black construction paper though. :P


Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com

Matt Conlon said...

The only things a white crayon is good for is when you have construction paper, or you need to fill in the numbers in your clear D&D dice. :)

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Happy A-Z Challenge! Looking for your A and B posts but haven't seen them yet. I'll check back in later so I can see what fun you've come up with!

Karen Walker said...

This just made me smile the whole way through, it's so true.
Karen

Tom said...

Thanks for all the visits my new A-Z friends. I have a confession to make. I don't even remember signing up for the challenge so now I feel guilty. I'm only capable of 2-3 posts a week, so I've already blown it.

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Intriguing concept.

We have used white crayons on dark pages, but their best use seems to be to create images for fabric crafts.

We draw our designs on cotton (as for a tee shirt or pillow) before dyeing it. After the dyed fabric has dried, we iron the white crayon wax off (onto paper toweling placed between the fabric and the iron).

It's basically batik dyeing. Of course, white candle wax works as well.

Just fun.

I stopped by via the A to Z Challenge for April, and I invite you to visit my blogs at:

http://nickersandinkblog.blogspot.com
http://practicallyathome.blogspot.com
http://themanepoint.blogspot.com

Stephen Tremp said...

White crayons are like non-alcoholic beer or decaffinated coffee. What's the purpose? I don't gt it? Just another waste of resources.

Shana said...

I have been watching Hoarders as well. That is the same 'can't look away' thing.

kmckendry said...

I loved this one. My husband said he's going to start using your new phrase to see if it will catch on. Thanks for the laughs.

Anonymous said...

You can use them to write secret hidden messages on paper then give a child some watercolor paint and they can paint over to reveal the secret message. Endless fun.

Brody Smith said...

Do you ever find yourself being "the white Crayola crayon"?
Here's just a few things you should know: The white Crayola crayon is used to correct bad mistakes, lighten the dark, and are used on a darker canvas. So think of it allegorically: When you feel like a "white Crayola crayon", you have the possibility of correcting what was wrong, making things better, and changing the world around you.