Friday, July 10, 2009

Stupid Things I Have Done

Miss Teen South Carolina became a favorite reference last year with her famous answer to the question why most Americans can't locate Iraq on a map. Since hearing her response, every time I hear the words "such as" it brings a smile to my face. Her response has brought me more happiness than I could have ever expected. I am not judging her because I have said and done many not so bright things during my life. Where to begin...?

I have an experience I'd like to share about cutting down trees. I had two giant trees in my front yard that both died several years ago. After their demise they looked like scary Tim Burton Halloween trees year round so I decided it was time to cut them down. I understand that anybody could have just cut them down with a chainsaw, but it takes a real man and do it the old Fashioned Way.

I had a tiny hand saw and climbed up into the top of the tree and proceeded to cut small pieces off and work my way down. After several weeks of neighbors driving by and either laughing or shaking their heads in disgust I finished the project. The $12 saw I used was only about 14 inches long and was completely dull when I finished. A neighbor with a chainsaw came over out of pity when he saw I had made it down to the trunks and he didn't have the heart to watch me continue.

I had forgotten about this experience until I came across a picture that my wife had taken. She was kind enough to immortalize the experience so some day my great grand children can look at the picture and know they come from a superior gene pool. So next time you need to cut down a tree, either hire a professional or at least keep the paparazzi away if you are going to look foolish doing it yourself.

19 comments:

Me said...

I don't care who ya are..thats funny right there!! I think we have all had these moments in our lives.

Judi said...

If this qualifies as something you have done that you consider "not so bright," I think you're being WAY too hard on yourself. Of course, my ex once did the same thing (I also took a picture of him) but he had a GREAT time doing it. Wasn't it fun?

Eric said...

This is great! I'd like to see someone try to build a house from the top down...

Bee and Rose said...

You are a riot! Although, when we lived in Ohio, I did have fun secretly videotaping my husband shovel snow up our very sloped driveway....finally I had to remind him that gravity would be his friend if he would just extend his hand! lol!

97 followers!! Hooray!!

DiPaola Momma said...

"Hello, my name is DiPaola Momma. And I've been stupid"... "Hello, Dipaola Momma."..."I've done not so bright things in the past, SUCH AS.."..."Such as, bent over to pick up my towel whilst warming myself next to a wood buring stove, afte having just exited the bath, resulting in 2nd degree butt burns and having to sit on an inflatable donut for two weeks in the 5th grade" Welcome to Stupids not so annoymous.

Kristina P. said...

I have never had any embarrassing moments in my life.

That must really suck for you.

(See current blog post.)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

That's a great story. Now I'm off to search Miss S. Carolina on You Tube

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Miss South Carolina was not hard to find a video clip on YouTube. Pretty entertaining stuff there.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm really impressed by the tiny Chaka face that appears in the picture. Kudos.

I've got a similar issue, but I took down a small dogwood and some other tall shrubby plant. I had a very small saw and it's a pain to try and cut the thing off at the base with that. Which is probably why one of the stumps is still standing to this day.

Kelly said...

Chaka like climbing trees with saw! Chaka LIKE!

Bobby G said...

Thats LEGENDARY! nice work

Caitlin said...

Ever held a cup of water in your hand and then checked your watch? I have. *smacks forehead*

Jeanne said...

That picture is hysterical -- I swear you're wearing the same headgear as in your blog pic.

I see you have 97 followers now. 3 to go.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!

Joanna Jenkins said...

OMG-- God bless you for sharing! That picture absolutely made my day. What a hoot!!!!
Enjoy the weekend!

Paige said...

Ya gotta go what you gotta do. My vet just told me he had gone full on redneck when the satellite man came to install his internet at his new house but could not get a clear line due to a single branch 40 feet up. The vet SHOT IT DOWN with two shots.

He was so proud. But embarrassed that he is now clearly assimilated to the hillbilly heaven in which we live

The Rambler said...

Hey..it's down right? :)

And that's all that matters.

Kathy B! said...

Why is it that whenver there is stupidity there is ALWAYS a camera?

The story of my life...

Looks like I'll be your 99th follower :)

One more to go...

Beckalita said...

I haven't seen that picture in a LONG time. Glad you found it. It reminded me of the poor kid that didn't see you whilst walking to the front door. He nearly died of fright when he was startled by the noise high up in the tree. He came to the door still in shock to say that there was a man in the top of the tree. SO FUNNY! It reminds me of a certain story about Tigger! Maybe that's what we should call you from now on.

Maybe you should offer a prize to the 100th follower. What's the next goal?

Anonymous said...

Stupid is drinking 117 OUNCES OF WATER in 2 HOURS because your doctor tells you you need to have a "full bladder" for your ultrasound procedure and you come dangerously close to PEEING YOUR PANTS IN THE LOBBY before your appointment. (64 ounces would have been plenty!)