Monday, July 27, 2009

How to Dry After Showering

The other day I saw my daughter grab two towels as she was heading into the bathroom to take a shower. I noticed this since I am actively involved doing laundry in our home. Over time I have become a towel Nazi so I interrogated her as to why she would need two. She told me she didn't want to drip water on the floor when she dried off. I can appreciate that but it didn't make sense to me. Then I realized not everyone knows about my state of the art drying techniques.

After I shared them with her she suggested that I write a post on this topic. She had a slight smirk in her voice like she knew it would fall on deaf ears and everyone would agree with her and I would only embarrass myself by disclosing my drying techniques to the public. The only way to know if she was right is to let you decide.

Showering can be a monotonous task like flossing your teeth, but some people can get opinionated about it, so I don't want to step on any toes. My wife likes to take long showers. I mean long showers that will drain two hot water heaters. When I go into the bathroom afterwards the walls are usually dripping wet. She will cut her budget and sacrifice in other areas (like go without food) but her long showers are sacred and are not to be messed with. If what I suggest does not jive with your current showering/drying routine, I hope we can still be friends.

If I were a dog I would just violently shake all the water off after showering. I have actually tried that method a couple times but it was not very effective and it gave me a headache for several days. The following techniques I will share with you are simple and pain free.

1) Phase One:Brief Drip Dry-Once you have turned off the shower just chill out for a second. Whats the hurry? Let gravity help you. For each 30 seconds you remain in the shower after turning it off, you will have 20% less water to wipe off you. I made those numbers up but they could be true. The longer you wait before getting out, the less water you have to deal with.

2) Phase Two:Squeegee-Before you use a towel I encourage you to try my patented "human squeegee" method. Just use your hands to flick the water off your head, arms and legs. Remember gravity is our friend so it only makes sense to start at your head and work your way down to your feet.

3) Phase Three:Towel Dry-Now take your towel and finish drying yourself off (WHILE REMAINING IN THE SHOWER). Once you have dried yourself down to your ankle you can get out on the bath mat and proceed with your life.

If you use these techniques you will find that your towel is only slightly damp instead of sopping wet and there are no puddles of water on the floor. Now the mystery of how I can dry myself with a wash clothe when others require a beach towel has been solved. I hope you adopt these life changing drying techniques if you are not already doing so. You are welcome.

16 comments:

Judi said...

I love that you posted these instructions. This made me smile and laugh.
1) Did you know that about 98% of all statistics are made up?
2) I appreciate being given something to make me consider gravity a FRIEND.
3) Right there with you. This is how I dry myself off after the shower. I always thought everyone did this. Now, thanks to your post, everyone can. :)

Mary said...

I'm sure it was just an oversight but you forgot my favorite technique - run naked through the grass.

Bee and Rose said...

My husband freaks out over my long showers...he also doesn't like the fact that I (gasp) step out of the shower to dry off...it completely flips him out! lol! He also can't stand the fact that I use 2, count 'em, 2 towels! One to wrap around my hair and the other to dry off...He's a stay in and dry off guy too...I think he would totally dig your dry off method!

bonnie jack said...

I was shocked one time when a college roommate of mine took me to her parents' house on the weekend and exchanged her 7 dirty towels for 7 clean ones from her mother's linen closet. All her life she had been using a new towel every day. I told her she was ridiculous and that normal people use the same towel for like a week at a time. I think as she started doing more of her own laundry she came around to my view of things. But now as I leave this comment I wonder if it is normal...do people think it is gross to use the same towel for that long...?

Eric said...

Sooo... After the shower, I shouldn't be spending $4 at the car wash, skipping the first part and just running through the industrial dryer area?

Thanks, well written article!

Kristina P. said...

I have to say, I'm on your side! I don't think it's necessary for two towels either.

Kelly said...

I have always been a dry off in the shower person. Why get out into the cold prematurely. I have one son who actually refuses to use a towel and likes to air dry. It takes forever! I think he feels the towels are dirty unless they are straight from the dryer.

Caitlin said...

I still need two towels! One to dry off with and one for my hair. It's a necessity! But! I do let them dry and re-use them once before tossing them to the laundry. Doesn't that make you even a little happier about my towel usage? :)

Bobby G said...

I dry in the shower! Hair, body, upper legs arms, then I finish drying out, that way MINIMAL water on the floor!

Fancy Schmancy said...

I just realized that I still use 2 towels, one for my hair and one for my body, even though I just got a crew cut and really no longer need it!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Well, to save water, hubs and I shower together. Usually takes fifteen minutes. We then have a rug, a rug in which I wash once a week. BUT, only one of us gets out with wet feet to step on it, for he hands me a towel and I dry in the shower, while he stands on the rug and dries.

We have a system, and it works great! And while I'm waiting for my towel, I guess you could call it a 30 sec wait, while gravity takes away the water beads...

Beckalita said...

I think the drying in the shower thing presents certain claustrophobia issues. I just can't do it.

My dad hounded and hounded me as a kid over my seeming towel inefficiency. Dad's must just really care about this stuff!

Also, if a towel doesn't stink (like a dirty towel), it's probably still clean enough to use. You could probably just pretend it is clean until it is obvious that it is not and be just fine.

The Rambler said...

I'm with some of the girls here.

One...like Bee and Rose, I get OUT of the shower to towel off. Drives my husband BONKERS!

Two...one for me body and one for me hair. Period. Forever.

Raine said...

I am sooo glad that others do the "human squeegee" (too many e's?) approach! I always do it and think that it saves so much drying!

Atzimba said...

Many times, I have barely enough time to shower when the kids (3 & 1 years old) are in obvious need for something! It rarely fails; unless Aaron is taking care of them, then I have the luxury of taking my time. But when I barely have the time to shower, drying becomes the least important item in this personal hygiene ritual. So my bathrobe comes to the rescue in these times of need, I still need need a towel for my hair otherwise I would leave a water mark all over. But that way I can rescue my kids and when I go to get dressed there's no need to dry anymore...the time it took me to run through the house, serve some soup, change a diaper, clean blackberries from the carpet before they stain too much, etc.... has taken care of the drying without too much effort on my part. I got it pretty easy in that department :)

Suzanne said...

I take it one step further, I dry my feet on the edge of the tub before stepping right into slippers (or a mat) left near the tub. I cannot stand a single drop of water on the floor. I could probably use a tiny towel for the final dry of my body but I do need a second towel (the smallest possible) for my hair, but I don't wash it every single day. Added anal note: I dry and polish my bathroom sink taps each and every time I use them to ensure no water spots.