Monday, October 18, 2010

The Onion Curse





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This post may offend some people, but it's political season so most people should have thick skin this time of year. No, I'm not going to talk about politics, but something far more controversial... Onions! I apologize in advance to any culinary experts or those of you who may suffer from onion enjoyment disorder. My dislike for onions applies to the entire nasty family of red, white, and yellow onions, leeks, and chives.

I hate onions. When I was a little kid I wouldn't eat any food that my mom made if it had onions in it. She caught on and always tried sneaking small diced onions into recipes, but I could always tell when she was trying to poison me. I still try to avoid them today, but it's not always easy due to their popularity. I've had many delicious and otherwise perfectly good hamburgers, salads, and other meals spoiled when I find onions in my food.

There are times when I walk in a room and immediately begin looking for the teenager who hasn't showered for a week who's been wearing the same shirt that they wear to football practice. I then realize it is just someone's food that is loaded with onions. I just don't understand how people can enjoy eating something that smells exactly like body odor!

When I bring the smell issue up with onion enthusiasts, they frequently agree with me and just say "I guess you're right," then shrug it off as I never asked the question. I find that response to be unacceptable. Unfortunately, I am in the minority when it comes to these stinky vegetables. I'm looking for some allies who feel the same way. I'm afraid I may have to go to grade schools to find those who agree with me.

14 comments:

Kristina P. said...

You would get along with my husband, swimmingly. He won't eat anything that is even suspected to have touched onions. Oh, except for onion rings!!! Giant pieces of onion!

Kelly said...

Onions are in everything! How do you survive? Do you feel the same way about garlic? I feel sorry for you Tom. But at the same time I get the BO comparison...

Eric said...

The spice 'cumin' smells like BO to me. Onions, if thoroughly cooked / carmelized are not that bad. But fresh? Forget about it.

M-Cat said...

And all along I thought I really liked you! This might possibly be a deal breaker.

J/K - I LOVE onions! The more the better! The stronger the flavor - the happier I am!

BUT - you would get along with my oldest just fine. I am curious to see if he comes home from boot camp with the same insane hatred of all things onion

Kal said...

I don't get this either but I know some who have the same hatred as you. But these are the people who would eat a beet raw if it was socially acceptable. I loath the beet but love it when you wrap the leaves of the beet around bread dough and bake them. How do you go through life without an onion ring? That is just kooky talk to me and makes you a little bit suspect in my eyes.

Jeanne said...

Hated them when I was a kid, but as I've aged and my taste buds have grown less sensitive, I've learned to like them.

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

i like onion in small doses and in moderation mainly with beef products.

Tom said...

I have to admit I can handle the onion soup mix with rice or in a casserole, but fresh onions do me in.

peewee said...

sorry. I can't live w/o them. The smell of grilled onions is heaven to me. French onion soup...onion rings...caramelized onions....YUMMM. (are you throwing up in your mouth a little?)

Cheeseboy said...

I love grilled onions. It usually takes the smell right out. However, if I want any kissing action from my wife for an entire week, I better not eat raw onions. Ever.

MikkSolo said...

The best ONION vision I have is from HOLES when they take huge bites of raw onions and make it look like the best thing in the world. Hey Chaka, "I'll give ya 5 bucks if you take the biggest bite possible of the biggest onion you can find." I have to be there to whitness it of course

Tom said...

I remember that scene. It tormented me.

Beckalita said...

I'm afraid you have NO idea what your food would taste like without onions. Your wife has obviously learned the trick (probably from your mom), of using onion powder as a substitute; not quite the same but BTN (better than nothing). Without it, you would have a whole new topic to blog about - food that doesn't taste like anything. Bon appetit!

Mary said...

I've outgrown my dislike for onions but I don't understand why anyone would want to eat shrimp (unless it's deep-fried or battered with coconut) because it smells just like PEE!

Oh, and you're absolutely right- mom did sneak onions into everything!