My in-laws have amazing flatwear. Each piece feels like a work of art since they are the perfect size, with ideal weight, ergonomics, and balance. It is truly a therapeutic experience and good for your soul to eat with their silverware. Anyway, back to our crappy silverware...I am including a picture of the variety of styles of silverware found at my house. Some of these remind me of different characters or realms from The Lord of the Rings. I'm including a reference photo below so you can see what I'm talking about.
The first 4 items on the top row represent the more slender, long, filigree style which remind me of elves. The next 6 spoons are just to show you how many different unmatched styles of spoons we have. The bottom 5 are wimpy fairy utensils and make me feel like a little child when I use them. The last three represent the gigantic troll or heavy dwarf spoon, knife, and fork. I prefer utensils made for the kingdom of men which are the three in the center of the bottom row. When my kids set the table and I sit down to a lame fork and spoon I remind them that I am not an elf or a dwarf I tell them to find me a fork worthy of King Aragorn. They know what that means and usually find me items from the human collection.
After starting this post I came across some Elven flatware on the Internet. I've attached a picture of it so you can see the distinct elegant style an elf would use. I'm afraid I'd have to grow my hair out and pluck my eyebrows before I could use the set below.
Until the day finally comes when I have a fine set of matching silverware to rule them all, I will just need to keep switching forks and spoons with the other place settings when I sit down to a meal. My other option is to just eat with my hands like Gollum. He never had such first world problems.