Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The biggest problem I have with camping is that I find it to be counter productive. If I had to, I could survive in the wild like Bear Grylls, (minus the looking for every excuse to drink my own pee). I actually love spending time outside and getting away from the stress of the city, but at the same time, there is also a law of diminishing returns. You have to factor in things like squatting behind bushes to go to the bathroom, sleeping on the ground, burning your eyes with campfire smoke while trying to stay warm, and getting bit by mosquitoes. I'll admit that camping isn't so bad if you are prepared and have the proper equipment, but that's beside the point. I just don't enjoy going backwards.
Camping for fun is like undoing that which has already been taken care of. It's like pretending we can't walk and deciding to crawl on our hands and knees instead. I love kitchens, indoor bathrooms, and modern conveniences and think they are just as beautiful as any sunset or forest view. I'm okay with just watching movies that feature the great outdoors from the comfort of my bed as opposed to actually going there.
Some nature enthusiasts reading this might think I'm a party pooper or a wuss, and they are probably right, but there are thousands of women who agree with me about this. Unfortunately they also like shopping, getting facials, and watching the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
After looking around, I was finally able to find another guy who agrees with me. I love Jim Gaffigan.