Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Demands

Since I am in a bad mood right now and feeling kind of bold, I am going to make some demands. I am not a violent or threatening person, but if I was, and if I had enough leverage to be taken seriously, then these would be my 8 demands for the major world powers.

1. I want a working Tron suit that glows.

2. I want it to be illegal to show credits after the first two minutes of a movie.

3. I'd like a special space shuttle flight for my wife and I on our anniversary. I know NASA said they are done with the program, but it's not like they'd have to start from scratch to schedule just one more trip.

4. Speaking of space, I want Pluto reinstated as a planet and all the smarty pants scientists who demoted it to be brought to justice for their crimes against humanity.

5. I don't want people to be able to graduate from high school if they pronounce the word escape as "EX-cape".

6. I want my own cosmetics line. I don't wear make up, but I like the thought of women all over the world grateful that I helped them supplement their existing beauty.

7. I want someone to help me figure out how to make money blogging. It doesn't have to be much.

8. I want every VHS tape I own to be replaced in DVD format. I don't think I can bring myself to watch anything in VHS quality mode ever again. Was messing with tracking controls real or just a nightmare I seem to remember?

These are my demands. The world only has 48 hours to comply, otherwise I will move on and write another blog post.

8 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Ex-cape. I hear you.

Kristina P. said...

Justin Bieber has a nail polish line, so I think the world is your oyster.

Shana said...

I LOVE number 5 !!!!!!!1

Pearl said...

:-) Now THAT was funny!

Pearl

Deborah said...

What fantastic demands ... I LOVE them! LOL

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

Nicely done. I think we can handle a few of these, but we are going to need more time...

W.C.Camp said...

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! - how is it possible for me to be highly frustrated by no less than 5 of your top 8 demands? Weird! W.C.C.

Cheeseboy said...

I might be able to help you with the making money thing. My brother is advertising on my blog and needs more bloggers. Email me and I'll give you the deets.