Friday, December 2, 2011

The 10 Worst Christmas Songs Ever

Now that we are in December, you are probably hearing more Christmas music. Yesterday while I was driving home from work, a local radio station host posed the question "Which Christmas songs don't you care for?". I have been contemplating this topic for a while so I think it's time to address my least favorite Christmas songs.

I understand people have a wide variety of music preferences, and I don't want to come across as Mr. Scrooge, but  I feel that speaking out against these songs is my duty, kind of like coming to a person's aid when they are being mugged. Here is my list of what I consider to be the 10 worst Christmas songs of all time.

10. Jingle Bells by Fresh Aire. Here me out on this. I love Manheim Steamroller and they make up the majority of my Christmas music, but this particular version (Christmas in the Air 1995) is the most slow and depressing narcoleptic piece I've ever heard.

9. I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. It's a toss up. Maybe these songs get some people in the Christmas mood, but not me. They just don't sound like Christmas songs to me.

8. The Muppet's 12 days of Christmas. I once had coworkers who would play this all-star muppet cast version over and over and over without tiring of it. Now whenever I hear the muppets sing, I just feel sick.

7. Last Christmas- George Michael or Wham or whoever sings this created one of the wussiest song I have ever heard. I can see why she threw it away the very next day.

6. Santa Baby- My kids heard this song for the first time recently and to quote my 8 year old "What's wrong with that lady? She's creeping me out."

5. A Wonderful Christmas Time- Paul McCartney- Yes, even Beatles make mistakes. This obnoxious, repetitious song features some of the worst synth ever recorded by man.

4. Christmas Shoes by Newsong. Before you accuse me of being a heartless insensitive guy, just think about the premise of the song. A kid's mom is dying and he's worried about buying her footwear instead of spending time with her? It's a blatant attempt to be a tear jerker song, but I'm afraid it back fired.

3. Feliz Navidad. I have nothing against my south of the border friends. I speak Spanish and enjoy the language, but this whiny pitched song drives me nuts and really gets on my nerves. I can't stand it because it seems so inappropriate. It is very un-Christmas like, kind of like Beach Boys songs.

2. Jingle Bell Rock. When I was in second grade, we had to sing this for a school program and even at that early age, I felt there was something very wrong with this song. "Giddy up jingle horse? Really? I'm still trying to recover from the trauma it caused me.

1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. This is the ultimate classless hick song. Whenever I hear this, my IQ immediately drops 50 points and I don't have many digits to spare in that department.

I hope I didn't step on any one's toes. I could go on and name several other honorable mentions, but I'd rather hear which Christmas songs you don't care for.


russell jack said...

haha - i first read the mannheim steamroller one and thought "you're crazy, all their stuff is great!" so i pulled it up.... and i'm afraid you're right...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I agree with your #1 choice 100%!!

Kristina P. said...

My favorite song is "Please Daddy, Don't Drink on Christmas", by John Denver. Always a classic.

Jeanne said...

You missed the Little Drummer Boy. I wish someone would pa-rum-pum-pum-pummel him with his own drumsticks.

Simply Suthern said...

Not a bad list but the absolute worst has to be" Do they know it's Christmas" by Band Aid.

"Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you"

mCat said...

Your number 4 is my number 1. I wanna take those red shoes and knock that kid upside the head.

Tom said...

I just lost a follower. Someone must like Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer.

Dr Zibbs said...

You're missing the little drummer boy with Bing Crosby and David Bowie.

Pedaling said...

here's one...well actually more than just one....ANYTHING SUNG BY THE CHIPMUNKS!

it's funny my 12yr old said the same thing about santa baby--creepy lady.

you're right on -except I do kinda like grandma got run over by a reindeer, one time, only, during the season. The red neck in me still thinks it's funny.

W.C.Camp said...

I agree with your #1 for sure! I like to hear 'Santa Baby' ONCE per season but I tire of it easily. Nice list! W.C.C.

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine sent me a link to a really lousy Xmas song from Canada: