Sunday, December 11, 2011

My Top 10 Beard Excuses

Around Thanksgiving, someone accidentally scratched my face while I was playing a game of basketball. I didn't shave for a couple days after that since I wanted to let it heal. For some reason I decided to just keep letting it grow. Since I have never been a beard guy, I have been getting a lot of comments and questions about it lately. In order to put an end to the questioning, I have decided to make a top ten list of my favorite reasons I give people as to why I'm growing a beard.

10) I just want people to appreciate all the times when I do shave.

9) I'm trying out for the role of Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.

8) I enjoy having tellers ask to see my ID now and not trusting me at my bank anymore.

7) Because I can.

6) I'm getting into Civil War reenactments and I should be ready for my first performance as Stonewall Jackson in 2014.

5) I was considering hanging out with the Occupy Salt Lake City group and wanted to look the part.

4) I'm just following the example of my mentor, James Brolin.

3) I burned my face and they had to use a skin graft from my back.

2) The tattoo artist misspelled "Stud Muffin" and I don't have money for laser removal , so get used to the beard.

1) What beard? Oh... Crap! I forgot to shave this morning.

I'm not a fan of facial hair and I don't think I can keep it up much longer.


mCat said...

Number 2 is my favorite. My DIL's family has a tradition of "No shave November" and they don't. Men no faces, women no legs.......They all think it's hysterical but I am thinking ick.
Not a face of a lot of facial hair, although a goatee is pretty hawt

Kristina P. said...

I like the Just because I can reason.

Heather Henry said...

Very funny! Great list of excuses. :)