Sometimes I get an e-mail forwarded to me by an excited friend, but they don't realize how old it is and that it made the rounds years ago. I hope this is not one of those situations for you. My sister sent me an e-mail months ago with some suggestions on how to be a better writer. There were originally over 30 but I'm just passing on some of my favorites.In case you are the person who wrote this and in case you also happen to be a lawyer, I'm not taking credit for these, but I don't know the source to give credit to. That being said I think these are some practical writing tips that we could all benefit from.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Always avoid annoying alliteration.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
- One should never generalize.
- Be more or less specific.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- Avoid cliches like plague. (They're old hat).
- And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
- Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
- Kill all exclamation points!!!
- Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Puns are for children, not groan readers
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Don't get mad at me over these, I'm just the messenger. I'm also just as guilty of regularly violating these rules as the next guy.
13 comments:
that's awesome. i guess i don't have many friends, because i've never gotten this email forward.
These are so funny! And true. Who would use an annoying alliteration for their blog title?
sum grate riting tules hear, Thanx.
I loved those! Thanks for the writing tips. I think the one I do most is (use parenthesis).
You are an excellent writer btw!
Yeah, I've seen those and its a good way to remember the rules, anyway!
Hi! Newcomer to your blog. WIll visit again. Do visit mine when you have time!
I am guilty as charged with all of the above listed crimes! lol! It's just pure laziness!
I'm kind of embarrassed of my writing other than the actual content.
I always mean to brush up on the basics but never do.
Funny stuff. The conjunction starting a sentence really bugs me. I hate it when people do that...especially in writing. On their blogs.
Did you know that the phrase "old hat" originally referred to a woman of questionable morals?Because the hat was felt, and rumor had it so was she.
Number 2 is actually a case of annoying assonance.
Yes, assonance. (Alliteration involves strictly consonants. So does consonance.) I'm glad that someone said it, so I didn't have to. (That one's preterition, i.e. saying something by saying you're not going to say it.)
I love language games!!!!!! (How many points did I get?)
Had this been an original post I'm sure I would have not made the assonance error, but since I decided to plagarize it slipped through. I'm honored to have such intelligent readers.
I don't know if I'm "intelligent", per se, but I do fancy myself a writer and am familiar with literary devices.
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