Anyone who has ever visited this blog knows they can usually expect light hearted random trivial topics. I recently felt inspired to write about something of substance for a change. Warning-Today's post has a serious message. This is kind of like when Different Strokes or some other weekly show addressed a serious issue. Sorry there will not be the usual "what you talkin bout" punch lines in today's post.
I get along well with just about everyone I meet-unless they are a total jerk. I have friends with varying political, religious, and cultural views. I try not to ruffle feathers and strive to keep the peace and mediate between others. As an observer over the years I have noticed how some people have been offended or are angry from what someone did to them a long time ago. Occasionally others get obsessed with resentment and anger and as a result they carry around a lot of excess baggage. Their feelings may be caused by a misunderstanding or maybe they have a legitimate reason to be angry because they have been wronged. Life is not fair and people get hurt. Things like divorce, traumatic experiences, cruel peers, and abuse can hurt people.
I'm not saying "just get over it" because I know that can sound simplistic and unsympathetic, but I kind of am saying that just because the price of holding onto to the negative is too great. I have seen people who can not let go and they become the victim for as long as they continue to let those feelings control them. Some people refuse to let their situation get better and are like those who constantly pick a scab rather than letting it heal.
It is amazing to see how resilient some people can be and what they are able to bounce back from. I recently heard a neighbor share an account of Corrie ten Boom who wrote The Hiding Place. After the war she was on a speaking tour talking about forgiveness when she saw one of her former captors from a concentration camp in the audience. He came up afterwards and asked her if she was serious about what she had been teaching. She struggled for a while but after praying for help to forgive him, she was able to offer her hand out to him.
The key is moving on is often forgiveness. We are the only ones who get hurt when we hold grudges against other people. I know that there are many mean, rude, and hurtful people in the world. I hope they get their butts kicked some day when they eventually reap what they've sown, but in the mean time don't let them drag you down more than they already have.
Maybe we should have a national holiday when we forgive someone who has wronged us. If you have a grudge with someone try to forgive and forget. I know it's easier said than done but it's kind of like burning a wart off your skin. It's not the funnest thing to do but you will be happier once it's gone. Just an idea.
8 comments:
Great post, Chaka. I have a family member that I don't hold a grudge against, necessarily, but I haven't truly forgiven either.
Well said!
I learned when living in a Jewish Orthodox neighborhood that there actually is a day when they are required to forgive enemies.
Not a bad idea.
Nice post Chaka!
I have so many problems with forgiveness. I can forgive when people say sorry...all is forgiven...but when they don't?? ooohhhh boy.
you know? even though I teach yoga, which is all about letting go...it's like the hardest thing to do. I am NOT good at letting go. I'm a scorpio. It's like genetic.
I feel like some people are good at it and some people are not. In some situations, I just don't know HOW. I don't WANT to hate authority...I just do.
And help for me dr. chaka?
Are you talking to anyone in particular?
Just very generalized observations. Nobody specific.
The energy needed to sulk and hang on to negative feelings does not seem to be worth the effort compared to moving on and letting go. A Texas oil dynasty fell victim to a sibling assisted hostile buy out years ago when an angry sister never forgave her brother for having fed her pet ostrich an orange that caused it to die when they were little kids. Way to go with stupid grudges that go from early childhood to old age! Even if you can't forgive it is better to go forward in peace. To do otherwise is emotional constipation.
I read this book once, "Forgiving the Unforgiveable." It was written by a social worker and her theory was that we forgive people, not for them, but to free ourselves up to move on. That book really helped me forgive my ex-husband, and I've gone on to a much happier life from leaving all that crap behind.
Good post!
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