The Junior Mints Incident

I like the refreshing taste of Junior Mints and I am not being paid to say that! As you may recall they are on my list of good candies. I'd like to share an experience I had several years ago involving Junior Mints.

When the final Lord of the Rings movie came out, I went to see it alone. I have a healthy self esteem so being seen alone at the movies is not a problem for me. I decided that before I went, I would stock up on some treats. I stopped by the dollar store and bought a king size box of Junior Mints, which I snuck into the theater with the same stealth that a prisoner might use to sneak a shiv into prison.

As the movie began I opened the box and began to eat them. If you have seen The Return of the King, you know it is a good movie, but there are 6 or 7 endings and it literally goes on forever. When the movie finally finished I got up and drove home. When I walked in my house, my kids started freaking out when they saw me. I had somehow managed to sit in a pile of Junior mints and after 3 + hours of melting them onto my clothes, I had the appearance of an infant who had a diaper blowout.

My youngest kids were on the verge of tears when they thought their dad had pooped his pants. I was shocked at the mess they had made and began to pick and peel them from my pants. They still didn't know what the mess was and they shrieked when I put some in my mouth. To this day I still I'm still baffled how this happened, but my guess is that they were already spilled on the seat from a prior movie goer. I'm just not that careless or wasteful with my food to spill them all over myself without noticing.

As a result of this experience, whenever I see Vigo Mortensen in a movie, I experience a minty chocolate phantom scent. For the record, they taste better fresh from the box than scraped off of your Levis.