Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Junior Mints Incident

I like the refreshing taste of Junior Mints and I am not being paid to say that! As you may recall they are on my list of good candies. I'd like to share an experience I had several years ago involving Junior Mints.

When the final Lord of the Rings movie came out, I went to see it alone. I have a healthy self esteem so being seen alone at the movies is not a problem for me. I decided that before I went, I would stock up on some treats. I stopped by the dollar store and bought a king size box of Junior Mints, which I snuck into the theater with the same stealth that a prisoner might use to sneak a shiv into prison.

As the movie began I opened the box and began to eat them. If you have seen The Return of the King, you know it is a good movie, but there are 6 or 7 endings and it literally goes on forever. When the movie finally finished I got up and drove home. When I walked in my house, my kids started freaking out when they saw me. I had somehow managed to sit in a pile of Junior mints and after 3 + hours of melting them onto my clothes, I had the appearance of an infant who had a diaper blowout.

My youngest kids were on the verge of tears when they thought their dad had pooped his pants. I was shocked at the mess they had made and began to pick and peel them from my pants. They still didn't know what the mess was and they shrieked when I put some in my mouth. To this day I still I'm still baffled how this happened, but my guess is that they were already spilled on the seat from a prior movie goer. I'm just not that careless or wasteful with my food to spill them all over myself without noticing.

As a result of this experience, whenever I see Vigo Mortensen in a movie, I experience a minty chocolate phantom scent. For the record, they taste better fresh from the box than scraped off of your Levis.

12 comments:

Eric said...

Hah, the old chocolate on the pants gambit... Recently in Lugano, Switzerland, I purchased more chocolate than Willy Wonka's pimp has. I will heed your warning and use extreme caution.

Kristina P. said...

OK, this was way funnier than the Seinfeld Jr. Mint incident.

Raine said...

Blahahaha!

Fran Hill said...

This was very funny. I could just see the looks on your kids' faces. Beats the time I taught an hour's English lesson with a great lump of blackberry crumble stuck to my collar.

Shana said...

Funny !!!

Bee and Rose said...

Oh Chaka! I needed that giggle this morning! That is hilarious! (I totally get the whole sneaking the shiv candy into the prison theater thing! The movie ushers shake us down at our theater...we have to be super crafty!)

Oh My Goddess said...

It was Gollum looking for My Precious.

JoeinVegas said...

Oh come on, you know it was your candy on your butt - those seats fold up and the last guys would have dropped off.
But congrats on jamming the kids like that. Next time slip the box in your underwear and really freak them out when you eat some . . .

Jeanne said...

I would have done this on purpose to freak out my kids.

If only I'd thought of it.

Oh My Goddess said...

I have something for you on my blog!

Kelly said...

That made me smile. Thanks!

Irish Gumbo said...

I'll take your word for that...now I won't be able to think of Junior Mints without thinking of 'shiv'...