Sunday, February 14, 2010

Car Window Decals and Bumper Stickers

At the request of a friend, I am going to address the topic of car window decals and bumper stickers. I'm sure at some time, you have pulled up to a traffic light and seen a decal on the rear windshield of the car in front of you. There are a variety of stickers that people love to decorate their vehicles with. I thought I'd categorize a few of them for you.

The cute family stick figure decals. It is always helpful to know how many people are in a family in case there is an impending accident and you have to make a split second decision about which car to crash into. Choosing to crash into the vehicle with the fewest stick figures on the rear window is the more noble choice since it means a potentially hurting fewer people.

Calvin peeing on stuff. This decal and it's many variations have been around forever. It's usually a Chevy/Ford feud or something similar. Nothing classes up vehicle and indicates a drivers refinement like a cartoon character urinating on stuff.

The sport team sticker. These include Lakers, Yankees, Broncos, etc. Despite an abundance of College and professional teams to choose from, there is nothing too exciting about these. You either immediately endear or alienate other drivers in a split second, depending on their sporting tastes.

The tough guy/patriotic sticker. These include: I Support our troops, Marine Corps, and NRA logos. Do you think I'd dumb enough to make fun of people who are most likely packing? No comment.

Political and environmental stickers. Get us out of the UN, Save the earth, go green, etc. I respect everyones right to express their political interests, but at least keep it current. If you still have a Mondale/Ferraro or a Bush/Quayle sticker, then it's probably time to get a new car.

Proud parent of an honor student. I suppose these can provide some positive attention for their kids, but I'm not a huge fan. Maybe I'm just jealous my parents couldn't qualify for this sticker. I once saw a bumper sticker on an old beater car that said "My son can beat up your honor student". I thought it was very immature...yet funny.

Some people might wonder why decorating should stop at windows, and bumpers. One of the classic statements you can make with your vehicle are the playboy bunny or hot naked chick silhouette mudflaps on trucks. I think there is probably a high correlation between many of these enthusiasts and people who wear T-shirts with catchy messages on them like "I'm with Dummy, or FBI-Female Body Inspector. I'm just guessing.

I drive a 15 year old van that has been missing it's hubcaps for over 4 years. It is the P.O.S. model and it keeps me humble, but I am still reluctant to plaster stickers all over my vehicles. Maybe I just haven't seen the right one yet. If you are guilty of having a bumper sticker that just doesn't cut it anymore, you should be grateful that it's not a tattoo and you can still remove it or upgrade to something cool like "I love Chaka's World."


Chaka said...

My timing has been poor lately. I just saw I lost another follower. It was probably either a figure skater or a trucker with the hot chick mud flaps. I guess I need to stop offending people with my posts.

Kristina P. said...

Haha. You are hilarious. The one about the family stickers was classic. I will probably put stickers of a family of 14 on our car, to throw people off.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Offend're amusing your loyal readers!
BTW, I don't have a sticker on my car and its only partly b/c the hubs wouldn't allow his babies to be defiled but also b/c I don't have a strong affiliation to one group or another. hmm, something to ponder.

Eric said...

In Texas, lots of Mexican immigrants put their family name in the gothic tattoo style font on the back window of their truck as a decal. Just once in the same font style, I'd like to see 'Smith' or 'Pendergast III'.

Chaka said...

Eric- That was actually one category I removed from my list since I was having a hard time addressing it as eloquently as you just did. That is funny.

NatureGirl said...

Ha ha Chaka...just the laugh I needed tonight! Good stuff...

MikkSolo said...

I think my favorite one is..."Make over $100,000 a year from home ASK me how!" in vinyl on the back window of a rusted out 2001 Mini Van. Yeah right!

At least some bumper stickers and window decals give you something interesting to read while your waiting for the light to turn green.

Kelly said...

I'd like to see a bumper sticker that said

"How's my driving? Never mind, I don't really care what you think"

Is that too rude?

btw: I think you can spare a few followers big guy.

Chaka said...

Kelly- There is a sticker like that. It is usually found on pickup trucks and says "how's my driving dial 1-800-eat-sh**. In comparison, yours is not rude at all.