Friday, June 11, 2010

Beauty Marks and Other Stuff I don't get

I have a list of some different topics below. They may appear to be unrelated, but they all have some similarities. The biggest one is that I don't like what people do with these things to make them look aged, lived in, authentic, or blemished.

Invitations- Whenever I get a wedding invitation in the mail, I examine the fancy paper the it is printed on. Occasionally it is ripped with jagged edges. When I comment on how they could have at least uses scissors to cut it out straight or used cleaner paper I am told that's the "fancy" way to do it. There is probably a name for that, but I'm not cultured enough to know what it is. I think sometimes the expensive paper looks worse than cheaper paper because of all the blemishes and unprocessed pulp or whatever is in it to make it look old and authentic.

Furniture- Some expensive furniture has knots and holes in it to make it look natural and to give it an aged look. Many times these blemishes are intentionally made by the manufacturer. Why? I'm not trying to advocate shiny particle board furniture finishes but why not leave that nice door or desk as it was? You don't see car dealers putting chips and cracks in the windshields of new cars they sell to give them a more "mature" look.

Clothes- People do the same with jeans. I recently bought some new Levis and had a hard time finding a pair that didn't look like they had oil poured on them and then were dragged behind a truck for several days. Even worse than the dirty look are the new jeans that already come with the rips in them. I know they are attempting to create a "lived in" look, but what is our obsession with making new stuff look old and crappy?

Faces- I was about to express gratitude that at least we don't do this with our bodies, but then I remembered that some women use fake beauty marks too. I guess women think it will make them look like Marilyn Monroe or Cindy Crawford. I'm fine with natural moles and facial blemishes (unless the diameter is greater than a silver dollar or you can braid the hair coming out of it), but why put a fake blemish on your face?

Food?- Maybe fast food places should pick up on this trend if it's so cool. They could put lipstick on your straw and use a punch shaped like a mouth to remove a bite of the hamburger before they give it to you. That way they could achieve the "been around the block" look that the public is apparently willing to pay for. I guess I'll just add this topic to the already huge category of things I just don't understand.

9 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Yeah, I'm really not a fan of the dirty, distressed jeans look.

Shana said...

You are funny!
I agree with you!!

Lisa Loo said...

How about wood floors?! I walked into a $1 million dollar home once and found the owner beating her brand new, very expensive wood floor with a 4 foot chain! ACK!!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My favorite was the food ditty. Smiling ear to ear on that one.

Cheeseboy said...

These are so great. You really could weave all of these into a stand up act.

Ally said...

back in the '80s and early '90s when i was new wave and grunge, i would take my jeans and actually distress them myself, sometimes even dab a little bleach on them to help give them a lived-in look. it was a lengthy and painstaking. i had no idea this would ever be something you could one day actually purchase.

Amber said...

What would be cool is if companies actually paid people to break in clothes. You know, wear 'em for a couple of months before they're sold. I really think that the Obama administration should capitalize on this "lived in" trend and use it to create more jobs.

Ocean Girl said...

You are so funny, the things you think and wonder about.

Eric said...

This all reminds me, I need to buy a sandblaster to help my art work look older. I'll probably try washing my car with it too.

Thanks!