Movie Insights

Over the weekend I was able to pry my wife away from her work and finally get her to a movie. I splurged and took her to Robin Hood at the dollar theater which was where we had our first date to see The Dream Team 21 years ago. We had a good time and the cinematic experience reminded me of some of the things that I do and don't like about going to the movies.

Loud Viewers-We happened to have some super sensitive laughers sitting right behind us. During the previews they went crazy laughing with an uncontrollable rage at anything that resembled comedy during the previews. There were probably 4 or 5 comical parts of the movie we were watching, and they didn't miss their cue to go crazy laughing at each of them.  I was just grateful that we weren't watching a comedy since these guys could bust a gut while watching Schindler's List.

Commericals-One of my favorite things about going to the movies is watching the previews, yet one of my least favorite things is watching all the garbage they play before the previews like Axe or Keebler Elf commercials. Is it just me or is anyone else annoyed with the Cinemark "First Look" format? It's one thing to watch the same repetitive ads each time you go to the movies, but what really drives me crazy is when they summarize everything they have been showing for the previous half hour as if there is going to be a test and they are reviewing all of the material so we don't forget anything.

Noisy Kids-Years ago I went to see The Water Boy. It was a matinee showing and there were only about 4 of us in the theater. Just as the movie started, 2 ladies brought in a group of about 12 little kids who must have been at a birthday party. Yes, they sat right behind me and I could have sworn they were breaking a pinata during the movie because it was so noisy.

Bad Seats-One of the worst things is when you get to the movie late and are forced to sit in the first two rows. This is even worse for your eyes than looking directly into the sun! I refuse to watch a movie in the front section of a theater after having done so on a few occasions. I have empathy for the poor souls who come in late and try to find decent seats in the dark before they finally give up an sit in the front row.

I don't want to sound like a whiner. Even a bad day at the movies is better than a good day at work. I love movies so much that I have a separate blog dedicated to that subject. If you are ever looking for some very mediocre reviews with random insights, you might want to check out The Movie Guy.

So Much Pun

I recently came across a sister site to Totally Looks Like, Fail Blog, and Kludges. It's called So Much Pun. Here is a sample of the stuff you will find there. Some of them are groaner puns, but I thought they were pretty funny.

The New Batman Trailer

The Cos of Death

Algorithym

An Apology to My Fellow Bloggers

Over the last few weeks I have gotten out of my usual blogging routine. I had some minor surgery and then a few days later went to scout camp for a week to recuperate. As a result, I have not posted as faithfully as I would have liked to. Even worse than my neglect for my own blog is the long term trend of neglect towards the many blogs I like to follow. Over the last couple of months I have had a hard time visiting them. I am sorry about this and will commit to visit the 100 or so blogs I follow within the next 30 days.

Some of you might ask how I will be able to do this while working two jobs and trying to carry out my other family, community, and church responsibilities. I will probably drop more important things in order to make the time. Being "busy" is a relative thing.  Occasionally I will run across a person who is complaining about how busy they are. They will say something like "I'm just swamped, I'm a newlywed, in school, and working part time". What I would give to experience that again. That person's nightmare is my dream vacation and their sympathy story with sad background violins quickly turns into amusing circus music as I laugh at their comment. I'm not trying to be rude or outdo anyone, but just be careful who you complain to about certain things.

As busy as I think I am, my wife has an even more hectic schedule than I do. She is beyond burning the candle at both ends, she has actually dropped her candle in a lava pit. I know if we keep up our insane schedules then we will either burn out or eventually go postal. I just hope that doesn't happen when someone is attempting to tell us how busy their life is.

I have learned that one of the main reasons why people are so busy is because of trying to earn enough money to survive, I'm pretty sure my wife and I would still work 4 jobs even if we were multi-millionaires-NOT! So in an effort to relieve some stress, I am going to open up a primo advertising spot on my blog. For only $999 per month you can rent some space on Chaka's World and get you message out to nearly half a dozen people every single day!

I am expecting responses from companies like Nike, McDonalds, Coke, and Disneyland, but if those don't pan out I will drop the price for teenagers who are willing to pay a couple bucks to announce things like "Steve Holt Rules!" Does this count as Internet panhandling?

The Top 10 Reasons to read Chaka's World

Since I am typing with one hand these days, I thought I'd just do a quick post and remind you of some of the reasons why people should read my post. I am not into bragging, but I have learned that if I don't promote my blog then people may not read it. You have to sell the sizzle. Here are the top 10 reasons to stay tuned to Chaka's World.

1. It's family friendly. If you are an orphan or a widow, I am still friendly. I try yo keep things on a PG level, but since I am an immature guy I may have some occasional PG-13 flare ups.
2. For free amusement and entertainment.
3. For the picture of the month feature.
4. For the links to my other movie and fitness blogs.
5. For the occasional post about a serious topic that might actually have some substance to it.
6. To read the comments of the many talented commenters which are much better than my posts.
7. To stretch your brain and look at everyday topics in a new light. (I take no responsibility if you need therapy after prolonged exposure to my blog.)
8. To keep you regular.
9. To fuel my unquenchable thirst for pride and power and to eventually help me achieve world domination.
10. Do it for the children of the world. Especially for the ones in 3rd world countries.

Surgery Insights

This morning I am going in for same day surgery to repair a bone spur and damaged bursa on my elbow. Since I have not posted for a while, I will take this opportunity to share some of my insights about hospitals, medical facilities, and health care providers. It will be kind of like a Bill Moyers special, but it won't be professionally done and only a handful of people will read this. I will start writing as soon as I get back.

Pain killers- Ten years ago after a shoulder surgery, I watched a Denzel Washington movie. I don't even remember what it was, but I watched it after taking my Oxycontin and while eating an entire bag of Costco trail mix. I just remember being warm, sweaty, and happy during the what little I can remember of the film. I now throw out prescription pain killers as soon as the pain subsides because I'm afraid of getting addicted to them.

Anaesthesia- It sure beats biting down on a stick! I always try to see how long I can go when they tell me to count backwards from 10. So far my record is 8. Why do so many guys from India have a corner on this occupation?

Scrubs-I was disappointed that there were no guitar strums or "bud dump bump ching" drum noises when I made witty comments to the hospital staff today. Nobody even laughed when I told them I was having a Siamese twin attached to me when the nurse asked what procedure I was having done today. My experience seemed less like a comedy and more like a documentary.

Doctors- I'm just grateful I don't live in the dark ages when the village "barber" performed medical procedures. "I'd like a trim with color treatment, and while you're at it could you remove my appendix?" Having qualified physicians and medical technology is a blessing.

Medical Transcriptionists- These people work very hard to decipher physicians encrypted dictations. They are the heroes behind the scenes of every surgery. Since you don't see these people at the hospital, most people don't realize what a crucial role they play, or how hot they are. Yes my wife is a transcriptionist.

So there you have it. Despite our country's need for health reform, I am still glad I can get medical attention (and a cool plastic bracelet with my name on it) when I really need it. Not being able to pay the procedure off for another year despite having insurance is a topic for another day. Sorry if there are typos, but I am not completely lucid. Didn't Edgar Allen Poe do his best work while he was stoned too?

Patriotism and Fireworks

In anticipation of Independence Day weekend, I'd like to share some thoughts about July 4th. I consider myself to be a red-blooded American. I love my country despite its problems, and I respect the flag and those who have fought for our country; however, sometimes I get weird reactions from people when they find out I'm not into fireworks. Others look at me like I'm a communist when they hear I have no desire to go to the Stadium of Fire. Call me crazy, but I'm not forking out $35-100 per person for the event. I probably wouldn't even attend if it were free. They'd have to throw in a massage and a meal to get me there. I admit I am a 4th of July party-pooper.

I usually run the 5K Race in the morning and sometimes go to the parade after. The fly-over is pretty cool. I enjoy seeing the soldiers, veterans, and the high school marching bands that are cool enough to have bagpipes, but after that, the parade is pretty much just a giant commercial. Watching floats with advertising for all kinds of businesses, along with giant inflatable cartoon character balloons just doesn't do anything for me. If you are lucky, you might get a piece of candy thrown at you. Even my little kids get tired of sitting in the sun watching the parade. Big crowds with lots of strangers doesn't help the situation either. I can't believe some people camp out over night for it.

I don't mind fireworks, but I'm not going to waste my money on something that will be burned up and destroyed a day later unless it is something I can eat. I know some people who spend hundreds of dollars on their personal firework shows. Some of these people single handedly boost the Wyoming economy with their annual purchases. They are a big hit with the kids in my neighborhood. I usually just send my kids down the street to watch their fireworks, so I'm grateful for all the money they save me.

I assume we celebrate with fireworks as a reference to "the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air", but I think most people are just looking for an excuse to blow stuff up. I'm afraid I outgrew fireworks years ago, around the same time I got tired of video games. I think the final nail in the coffin was when we went to watch a big fireworks show a couple years ago. We arrived very early to get good seats, then had to wait forever until it was finally dark enough. We then saw about 20 minutes of fireworks and smoke before we got to experience the highlight of the night, which was sitting in a traffic jam for an hour and a half with thousands of other hot, and exhausted people. Yippee!

Since we live in a free country, I will respect the way people choose to celebrate their freedom, which for most people appears to be blowing stuff up. If we want to make fireworks more applicable to freedom, I suggest we not let adults use them unless they are a registered voter. Please don't take offense if you are a pyro. I hope you have a great time this weekend, and I just want you to know that I love my country and appreciate my freedom, even if I don't light anything but the barbecue grill over the weekend.