The Public Jacuzzi

I love relaxing in a hot jacuzzi, but I haven't always had the best luck when it comes to public hot tubs. Years ago I went on a cruise and there were only a couple hot tubs on board. Towards the end of the cruise I ventured to the top of the ship to try them out. I was in need of some relaxation since I had been vigorously eating around the clock for 3 days. When I got to the jacuzzi I was surprised to find it completely empty. As I got closer it looked like every passenger on board had applied suntan lotion and then bathed in there to rinse it off. For some reason I was mesmerized by the shiny liquid and actually ended up putting my hand in. It felt like a vat of Wesson oil. I decided to forgo the heat therapy and went back to get more food.

Recently I was feeling tired and stressed and my kids wanted to go to the local recreation center so I agreed to take them. I planned on relaxing in the jacuzzi while I waited for them. I got there and there were about 7 or 8 people in the jacuzzi but that wasn't a problem since it's huge and can accommodate about 15 people. As soon as I got in my eyes started burning because the chlorine was so strong. As I looked around they burned even more as I noticed a very out of shape older couple who were being surprisingly affectionate with each other. This was not your typical MTV Spring break Jacuzzi couple that comes to mind when you think of people making out in hot tubs. I don't have a problem with people being affectionate in public, but it was kind of disturbing and didn't help me relax.

While I was sitting there trying to keep my eyes to myself I realized that the water was not very hot either, but I was still going to try to make the best of it. That's when I noticed an object moving around in all the foam and bubbles. It was dark and thin and was floating towards me. Finally I could see it was a gigantic mass of hairs that were floating in my direction. As it got closer I saw it was made of a variety of lengths and colors of hair that were all globbed together. My imagination went wild as I speculated where or who it had come from. It continued floating directly towards me and I wasn't going to touch it so I started to splash water towards it to push it away. While I was doing this I noticed the sign that said not to get in the pool if you had open sores. I looked around at the other bathers and just imagined all the open sores that could be oozing under the surface at that moment. My imagination got the best of me and I got out fast.

I ended up being grateful that they used such potent chlorine levels in the pool. I'd like to clarify that I do not consider myself to be superior or better than anyone else. That should be obvious from the fact that I was going to a public pool. I'm sure the other bathers went home and blogged about the nervous pale guy that was splashing water around and then quickly jumped out of the pool for no reason.