Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Worst Answering Machine Ever

I've had problems with my cordless phones recently and only one of the two hand units was working so I finally threw them out and made a trip to Walmart and bought a new set. I know it's never a good idea to buy the cheapest model but the cost went from $34 up to $60 and above so I figured even a cheap phone would be better than the one I was so anxious to replace. Wrong.

The new phones seemed to be working well until I listened to our first message that someone left on the base unit's answering machine. It sounded like an emergency transmissions from Star Trek the Next Generation when the receptions is horrible and all you can hear is "static...attacked...static....Klingons, we need help..... static transmission ends". Our answering machine is so bad that it makes the above mentioned scenario sound as clear as the THX sound demo you hear before a movie.

I'm too lazy to take it back since I threw away the packing and didn't keep the receipt. I feel bad that I didn't splurge and buy the Fisher Price model that was the next step up. I don't want to bash any brand name so I'm not going to identify the manufacturer by name, but I did include a picture of the exact machine I look at each time I hear these indistinguishable noises. Seriously, all I hear is loud muffled noise that sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher talking. This has been very frustrating to me, but just today I realized that it could be a blessing in disguise.

I can't remember the last time I listened to a message on an answering machine and it warmed my heart or made my day. Most messages deal with having to call someone back or an invitation to do something you're not excited about. I'm actually starting to enjoy the privacy and seclusion. I still listen to my messages but since I can't understand a word of them I just hit delete as soon as the muffled static starts. It has been very liberating. I guess out of courtesy I should change the message to say "sorry we missed your call, feel free to leave a message but we won't be returning your call since we won't be able to understand a word of it. Have a nice day." I guess if it's serious enough then the caller can come see me in person.

11 comments:

Kelly said...

This was such a funny post Chaka. I liked your reference to Fisher Price and Star Trek. You always make me smile.

Oh and BTW I like that you are still allowing my photo to show up on your blog side bar. Are you changing that just for me because of a previous comment I made? I admit to being vain and thinking this song is about me. If you are changing that for me-thanks! Very considerate.

Chaka said...

Kelly-I'm not sure how the follower pictures work. Sometimes they randomly move around. I think they are listed in order of when they subscribed. If I did the arranging I'd put my most faithful commenters like yourself up towards the top.

Kristina P. said...

Can I just get my picture added to your sidebar, since I'm not technically a follower. I'll even send you a few, to make the selection process easier.

And if you give me your phone number, I will leave you a hilarious message.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

hello, I am the CEO of the unidentified by publicly displayed phone on your website. I'm planning to sue but you can come over to my blog and we can work some terms out!

Girl Interrupted said...

*leaves an unintelligible comment on your answerphone*

Eric said...

*wha wha wa wahhh whwahhwhahwaw*

Did you remember to take the antennae condom off? Oh well, good luck.

Anonymous said...

yep- vtech sucks.

Jeanne said...

Voicemail is only 5 bucks a month, but that assumes you actually want to get your messages.

I refuse to use call waiting. Putting people on hold so you can talk to someone else is about the rudest thing I've ever heard of. It's like saying, "Whatever random stranger is calling is more interesting than you." Plus, I can never figure out how to get it to work right....

Lisa Loo said...

That would be why we no longer have a land line--they were all out of the Fisher Price models when we got to Wallyworld--dang.I give our old land line number to all those I never really want to hear from--it IS very liberating!

Bee and Rose said...

Oh..I know that phone....that would be the same brand I pitched across the kitchen one afternoon....

Hubster wants to get that Verizon Hub model...like I want people to see me while I talk on the phone..that is why I don't skype!

Your descripton of your message was hilarious...and timely...the movie trailer for Star Trek the Movie was literally playing on my TV at the same time! lol! (that really freaked my 12 yr old out!)

Chaka said...

Someone left this message on a different blog by mistake and it was forwarded to me.

"I have that EXACT phone, and it seems to be working FABULOUS
I don't know about the " Screching " and the static you're talking about when people leave a message. All my messages are clear, I can hear them perfectly.
With absouletely no staticing.

I have the exact phone you put a picture up there of it.
And it is a wonderful phone.
Not trying to be rude at all! btw.
Yours might be like that, but mine isn't and it's cool that we have the same phones. Bye."