Thursday, August 30, 2012

My Take on Neck Ties

First of all I'd like to say that the person who invented the neck tie should have been hung by one, but since society has adopted this fashion trend, I have given in and go along with it. As an experienced tie wearer, I have decided to enlighten the readers of Chaka's World with a few insights on the subject.

Designs- I prefer conservative or subtle designs as opposed to noisy ones with cartoon characters or dumb messages on them. I can make occasional exceptions for wearing a flag tie around the 4th of July or a Christmas tie during the holidays, but regularly wearing team logos or Bugs Bunny on your tie can backfire. As you move away from simple patterns and move towards an actual message with your tie, you are entering dangerous territory.

The knot- I prefer the Windsor knot. It is more full and symmetrical and I believe it looks better than the quickly tied knots I see many young men sporting these days. Some of the ties I see look like guys were just guessing how to tie them.

To the Neck- I hate feeling like I'm being choked, but If you are wearing a tie, then wear it all the way up. I can understand after a long day at the office if you unbutton your top button, loosen your tie, or role up your sleeves, but if you show up with a loose and crooked tie, it just looks horrible.

Tie length- According to Dress for Success, the tip of the tie should come down to the center of your belt buckle. If it's too long, it says you are sloppy and uncaring, if it is too short, it makes you look like you are 50 pounds overweight since it accentuates your uncovered belly. Don't become a victim to the short tie look. You are better than that!
Obsessive Compulsive- I have never been diagnosed as having an obsessive compulsive personality, but I often feel that way when I tie my ties. If my ties does not reach the ideal hanging zone or feel just right, I end up tying it over and over until I feel it has been tied properly.

Tie Tacks and bars- These are too formal for me and even though I have some, I never wear them. The main reason is because I refuse to wear them correctly which is at the 3rd button down. I think the 5th button or mid shirt looks much better, but I don't like people telling me that I'm wearing it too low.
My tie secret- In order to have the perfect hanging tie, I use a tie clip, but not one that anyone can see. For years I have used a plastic coated paperclip (so the ends don't damage your tie) and pin the skinny end of the tie to my shirt after sliding it through the loop on the underside of the tie. That way when you lean forward or move, the tie remains in  place and you give off the image of being a super hero who can defy gravity.

If you have to wear a tie, then you have my condolences, but you might as well look good doing so. I hope these amazing and life changing tips help you improve your appearance and self confidence and that as a result you land yourself a multi-mullion dollar business deal. If this is the case, please remember me and feel free to leave a little something in my Paypal donation sidebar since I am trying to take my large family to Disneyland in a couple months and it is going to be freaking expensive!


Candy's daily Dandy said...

A public service announcement, this was.

Good work.

MikkSolo said...

When are you at Disney? We are there Oct 11-15.

MikkSolo said...

When are you at Disney? We are there Oct. 11-15.