Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Epitome of Masculinity

Today I'd like to share some thoughts on masculinity. I feel like I have been mellowing out a little bit as I get older. I'm in my mid 40's now and no longer have testosterone surging through my veins like I did when I was a teenager. I am not to the point where Steel Magnolias is my new favorite movie, but I am beginning to feel a little more docile and tired than I used to.

When people think of masculinity certain images come to mind. Society has told us that in order to be masculine we need to participate in the following activities:

Lift weights and have big muscles
Be good at home and car repairs
Grow facial hair easily
Occasionally eat food straight out of a can
Consume large quantities of alcohol
Be athletic and an expert on sports
Use a chain saw or hard hat at your job
Love to hunt and spend time outdoors
Not talking much if a simple grunt will do
Drive a large truck or 4 wheel drive vehicle

Obviously most of these activities don't make the man but they can influence how others see you.

After much scientific research I have created a highly accurate testosterone scale which is much like the food pyramid except I am using celebrities to illustrate my point. The higher the ranking the more manly a person comes across.

My testosterone scale of manliness

10- Ron Swanson
9-  Chuck Norris
8-  Charlton Heston
7-  Tom Selleck
6-  Lee Majors
5-  Bruce Willis
4-  James Franco
3-  Orlando Bloom
2-  Tony Randall
1-  Woody Allen

I am aware that these days you can get in trouble for not being politically correct or making broad generalizations. I hope readers can view the general stereotypes without taking offense. I think everyone has both masculine and feminine characteristics and I'm not saying one is better than the other, I am just worried that I have slowly moved from a 9 down to a 5 over the years. Maybe if I take up bull riding I can get back up to an 8 this year. If not I will just keep using the cheapest form of hormone replacement therapy I have found, watching The Expendables 2 trailer every morning.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

pretty nice blog, following :)