Thursday, November 2, 2017

My Technologically Impaired Life

I am going to be very honest and vulnerable with this post. I am confessing some embarrassing things about myself so please don't judge to harshly. When I was a kid I remember helping my parents work the VCR since they found it to be too confusing. Perhaps it is genetic, but over the years I have slowly been afflicted by their malady to the point that I now find myself in their shoes and am technologically challenged. Here are just some of the examples:

I find myself now asking my younger kids to adjust my digital watch each daylight savings time change as I used to do for my father.

I used Wifi for the first time last year and it made me nervous.

I don't know what blue tooth is. I think it's what allows people with the dumb built in ear pieces to answer their phone hands free but I'm not sure.

I don't know how to back up anything on my computer or phone. I've heard about "The Cloud" but I can't believe it is that simple I and don't trust it.

I have several friends who are network engineers, programmers, coders, etc. and they intimidate me. I try to only talk to them about the weather or current events instead of trying to understand what they actually do.

I hate iPhones! Their supposed simplicity has backfired on me and I can't even get past the main screen. Luckily I use a Samsung phone but my other family members have iPhones. Trying to navigate an iPhone is like playing with a Rubiks cube for me. On a good day I can get one side the same color.

I don't understand when people talk about measuring data, memory, or whatever that Internet stuff is they are talking about. I have no idea what a kilobite or gig is. I understand it even less than I do when people make metric system references. I've at least seen a liter of soda before and have run a 5K, but I have no idea what a bit or byte is. All I know is that the higher the number on your phone the more expensive it is (and the cooler you are.)

If I went undercover at a tech convention like Comdex, I would be discovered within the first 5 minutes and they'd take away my lanyard and lead me out of the building. It would be like how I feel when I hear someone who knows nothing about sports say "that guy bounced the ball really good during the basketball game."

While reviewing this post I looked online and saw that Comdex actually ended over 13 years ago and it is The International Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas I was thinking about. Just another fitting example how behind the times I am with my tech knowledge.

Things are just way too complicated. Look at any remote control these days. They have about 64 buttons. There should only be power, channel, volume, mute, and skip buttons. The rest is just showing off and sheer confusion.

I really hate it when I have a question and have to call  an IT help desk and they ask which version of Windows I'm running.  It is at that point that I have to explain I am completely illiterate when it comes to technology. I also can't stand it when someone tries answering a tech question for me by sending me a link to an article about it. I need a person with a gentle voice to hold my hand and show me how to tackle these difficult problems in life like how to change settings on an app, not some cold heartless memo.

So there you have my confession. My name is Tom and I struggle with technology. Thank goodness I have younger kids who understand all that stuff as a matter of instinct.

PS- On the bright side, I stopped saying World Wide Web recently.

1 comment:

RenegadeExpress said...

Lol. I started bluetooth about a year ago and I can never go to wired signal. Also my home desktop has never even used a wired internet connection--ive exclusively used wifi to browse the interwebs.