Evolution

I believe in some evolutionary concepts like survival of the fittest and adaptation, but I don't buy into Darwin's whole evolution theory. What's my reasoning for this? Is it because I'm close minded and don't believe scientific evidence, or perhaps I have conflicting religious beliefs? Maybe, but the biggest reason is because of the chart below which is frequently used to teach evolution.

The biggest problem I have with this diagram is that it is supposed to represent changes made over millions of years, but over the lasts 25 years I have personally played basketball with guys who look like the last four figures on this chart. In case you were wondering, mouth breathing Neanderthal men still exist today. Just go to a local gym and hang out long enough and you will see them. They are no longer named Kronk and Grog and don't carry clubs or spears, but don't be fooled, they are still among us.

I'm not trying to be rude to guys that look like Ron Pearlman. I even include myself as taking a couple steps back on the evolutionary chain since my knuckles sometimes drag on the floor when I walk. I was going to end this post with "I'm just sayin..." but it does not sound masculine enough even though I think it would fit well so instead I will end with this sentence.

Why I am not running for President

Maybe I'm just not very observant, but in the past I recall presidential candidates would start to campaign and hold debates the year of the election, but it seems they have been campaigning non stop for the last two years. I think having multiple debates can be a good thing to help us get to know the candidates, but why can't we just do it like March Madness and by the end of one month get down to the final winner? This drawn out process is driving my crazy.

I meet the criteria to be President of the United States since I am over 35 years old and was born in the U.S., but aside from these two things, I have no qualifications whatsoever. Even if I wanted to be the president, I would not dare undergo the two year process of having the media and my opponents dissect my life under a microscope.

Even the squeakiest clean candidate is at risk of having skeletons come out of their closet. I'm afraid I don't have thick enough skin for the scrutiny they have to endure.They would not uncover any extramarital affairs or that I had made any obscene amounts of money for consulting or giving speeches, but once they came across this blog, I'd lose all credibility.

Why can't the election process be like the Summer Olympics? Unless your city is hosting the Olympics, things stay quiet for 3 years and 11 months and then for one month we get immersed in them and have a good time. Then we have the closing ceremonies and everyone goes home happy for another 4 years.

I've heard that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I think it is also the definition of voting. I actually think everyone should vote, even if it feels like you won't make any difference. At least voting makes you qualified to complain about things. Nobody wants to hear someone who didn't vote complain about the leaders they have.

When it comes to politics, if you are liberal, conservative, middle of the road, or extremist, I think one thing we can all agree on is that this is going to get old before November rolls around.

Beauty From The Past

I recently showed my kids some old photo albums which featured pictures from my childhood and high school years. I was shocked at the amount of disrespect they had for the 70's and 80's. They just laughed at how ugly the clothes, hair, and people were during that time. I guess I haven't taught them that they need to respect their elders.

Exhibit A features two stars who were at the top of their game in the 70's. Shaun Cassidy and Farah Fawcett. Feathered hair, bell bottoms, and platform shoes defined the 70's. Hair was longer and earth tones were big.

Exhibit B shows Tubbs and Crocket who were poster children for the 80's. This was a time for bright colors, poofy hair, shoulder pads, leg warmers, members only jackets, and stirrup pants.

The Wedding Singer did a great job of portraying the 80's.

Even though many of these styles are embarrassing in retrospect, I still prefer the cleaned up yet dorky 80's look to the grungy, dirty baggy pants look that came after it in the 90's. It is amazing how fickle style is. Clothes that were once cool and in style are later only sought after for Halloween costumes that mock the earlier era or are worn only to get a laugh.

Preparing For a Water Landing

I recently heard in the news that passengers flying from Miami to London on a British Airways flight were awoken mid flight while over the Atlantic ocean by a cockpit recording telling them that to prepare for a water landing. The emergency landing alert they heard had accidentally been activated by the crew. OOPS!

Where to begin on this? First of all I'd like to address the concept of a water "landing". This is a phrase that has been prettied up to keep people from panicking, but it really means "we are about to crash into the ocean and die". I can think of few things that scare me more than crashing into a large body of water and being disoriented in the dark as cold water rushes into a cabin full of panicked passengers.


Unless you are flying in this plane, don't call it a water landing!

From my vast knowledge of airplane survival facts, I can tell you that if you are lucky enough to survive a water landing, you could end up as a lonely guy on a remote island talking to a volleyball or even worse, be stuck on an island with a bunch of other survivors who end up getting on each others nerves, seeing polar bears, kidnapping each other, and fighting against the Dharma initiative.


I'm sure the passengers were relieved when they realized it was just a false alarm. When I say relieved, I imagine many of them were literally relieved. There must have been a long line to the lavatory afterwards. Can you imagine the adrenaline that you would feel if you heard a message like that? I think I'd rather have my luggage lost 10 times while traveling as opposed to hearing the message that I should brace for an emergency water landing.

I'm glad nobody was hurt and I'm really glad it didn't happen to me.

My Favorite Painter

In an effort to introduce some culture to this blog, I'd like to feature some artwork. I appreciate many painters and their creations. I'm not a huge fan of or Picasso or Pollock. I've expressed my opinions about modern art in the past. I really like Alma Tadema, Leonardo Da Vinci, Rembrandt, but one of my favorite artists has to be Salvador Dali.

I'm pretty sure if you look up a eccentric lunatic in the dictionary, you will find his picture. Dali was a nut. I would have been nervous to be in the same room with the guy, but I love many of his pieces. Much of his work has perverted Freudian overtones which I don't really care for, but his surrealist work, busy details, colors, and hidden images in his paintings seem to speak to me. Maybe twisted minds think alike.

Fashion Models- I Don't Get It

When I hear the word "model" several things come to mind, but usually I think of ladies modeling clothes in catalogs for The Gap, Dress Barn, Lane Bryant, or some other clothing retailer. Using an attractive person to model the clothes you are tying to sell seems logical, but there is a darker side to the industry that makes no sense at all to me at.

Before I proceed, I'll admit I am not up to date when it comes to fashion. I have been wearing the same style of clothes since Ronald Reagan was president. I will never grace the cover of GQ with my wardrobe and fashion sense, but I think I have enough common sense to know the difference between right and wrong.

When I see pictures or video clips of anorexic, angry looking, girls walking down a catwalk dressed as clowns, I just have to scratch my head. Are they serious or is this an inside joke? I don't care if the outfit sells for $3,000 or if it's the featured attraction at the Milan Fashion Show, they still look like a joke. Maybe they are just having a contest to see which one of them has the most self esteem by seeing who can wear humiliating clothes in front of crowds of people without breaking into tears.

These sort of models look ridiculous. They are the "modern art" of the fashion industry. It used to be that if someone said they were dating a model, then it was like a status symbol. I'm not so sure if that is something people would brag about when they dress like this.

On the bright side, I guess there are still some people out there who make Lady Ga Ga look reserved and conservative by comparison.

The Elusive 200th Follower

I love the followers on this blog, but I must have done something recently to upset some of them. I was nearly at 200 several months ago, but things have just been hovering in the same place and have recently gone backwards. As a result, I have been strategizing about how to remedy this situation. After some brain storming, I came up with the following 5 options.

1) I can beg, whine, and bug people to follow my blog if they already are not doing so. I decided against this since it just turns people off and I have already done that in the past.

2) Pretend I don't care about it and adopt the mantra "following blogs is so 90's". The bitter grapes mentality works for lots of people so why not me?

3) Incorporate the Name Mommy Blogger somewhere into the title of my blog. Mommy Bloggers seem to have common ground and a sense of comradery that I have not seen anywhere else.

4) Steal someone else's followers. I could plan a heist with an all star cast that would include George Clooney, Jason Stratham, Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio. It would be bold, suspenseful, and hip. The next morning when Vodka Mom and Shanimal's Crackers woke up, they would only have my calling card where their followers widget used to be on their blog.

5) I could actually put something of substance on Chaka's World in 2012 that people might value. After much deliberation, I have decided this is the best option. This may be the most difficult solution, but I think it will be worth it. Now I just need to start work on my essays and poems about Super heroes and lava.