Wednesday, June 10, 2009

9 Money Saving Tips

As a young boy I was a coin scavenger. I'd go to public places and check vending machines and pay phones for loose change. I was finally cured from this habit thanks to someone who cleared their throat and spit in a coin return. (I am 99% sure it was a guy) My index finger found their generous deposit but it was not the treasure I had hoped for. I used to pick up pennies when I'd see them on the ground but with the value of the dollar today, picking up a penny is akin to being a good Samaritan and just picking up litter.

It has also been frustrating to not only see the price of many items going up, but also by the size of food containers getting smaller. Cereal boxes used to be huge when I was little. Now you can fit a box of cereal in your pocket. Everything seems to be approaching fun size. By the way why should shrinking the size of something make it more fun? Anytime you shrink the portion size of my food it makes me sad.

You have probably noticed attention grabbing headlines you find on the home pages of MSN, AOL, or Yahoo. These are usually shallow little stories with teaser titles like "5 reasons she might leave you", "6 steps to lower your insurance premium", or " 8 Not so healthy health foods" In honor of those sort of stories, here is my version of "9 money saving tips that may help you stretch your dollar".

1. Hang out at Costco with a reversible jacket to further your free sampling experience.
2. Charge your electric razor and cell phone at work.
3. Wash your entire car at the gas station with the squeegee.
4. Offer to take lunch orders at work and use buy one get one free coupons for yours.
5. Get a job clearing tables in a restaurant.
6. Wrap presents with aluminum foil.
7. Trade your kid's old toys with the neighbors. One kids junk is another's treasure.
8. Take every new drug that comes out on the market so when the inevitable recalls start you have plenty of companies to sue.
9. Start a blog and make tons of money.

With today's rising prices, troubled economy, and financial challenges, I'm sure you can use these suggestions. Or not. I officially dub this as one of my top five worst posts ever but I'm too busy to try and fix it.


Eric said...

This post is funny and very practical information. Now if you'll excuse me, my load of paper towels in the dryer just finished and it's time to fold.

Kristina P. said...

I've tried to save money by cutting down on going to the strip clubs, like Tracey Morgan.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I've been trying #9 for many months now, with little to no success. Also, you talking about food and #9 makes me want to go spend money at D'Angelos for a steak and cheese grinder with the works. My stomach is growling, and they tore down the only D'Angelos in the area :(

Kelly said...

Great ideas! I would also add to the list selling your plasma. I remember being shocked as a newlywed when our poor neighbor who would do this to earn money had enough extra (or enough nerve) to invest in a huge fish tank. I just kept imagining those expensive salt water fish swimming around in his wife's plasma.... sigh!

Sorry for the rant!

bonnie jack said...

ice cream. they sell it in 1.5 liter containers now, and it's more expensive than ever. russell is boycotting.

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

My husband does #4 ALL.THE.TIME! LOL! He thinks he is super clever because no one has caught on to his devious plans!

How in the heck do you make lots of money on a blog? (unless you are Dooce?) Please share your wisdom, Chaka!

Tom said...

The blog comment was completely sarcastic and only wishful thinking. If anyone ever figures that out let me know how.

Der Grexxie said...

You were such a resourceful coin scavenger, I had no idea a stranger's revolting phlegm broke you of the habit!

Beckalita said...

When we were kids we used to scavenger pop cans out of the trash cans on the university campus and then turn them in to the recycle place. Now it's even easier since they actually have bins devoted just to aluminum cans. Is that stealing?