Monday, September 7, 2009

Wishful Thinking

As a little kid I remember being taught in an indirect way that if I didn't eat my vegetables, then some poor kid in Africa was going to starve. Did that mean when I pulled a carrot out of American soil, that it sucked one out from China? I later learned that if I made too much money then someone in a third world country would suffer. Luckily I haven't made anyone suffer so far. In that same spirit of logic I wish I had more money but I wouldn't want to take it from others.

I'm not dishonest, just lazy. Over the years I have seen money wasted in many different ways and have wished I had a way to capture some of it. I'd be happy if I could get just a small percentage of some of the money that has been wasted in the following ways:

I wish I could have some of the money from food that has spoiled in refrigerators and gets thrown out. I'm guessing since refrigeration has been used there have been billions of dollars of rotting food in the back of fridges.

I wish I could have some of the coins that have been lost down sewer drains or in couch cushions and are now long forgotten.

I wish I could trade in the remainder of the materials from old shoes and clothes and have them make my newer clothes last longer.

I wish I could use some of the wasted hot air that groceries stores blow out the entrances in the winter or the cold air that they waste in the summer.

I wish I could have some of the money from movie or play tickets that were purchased in advance, but the viewers never ended up going because an emergency came up.

I wish I could use some of the wasted water from running toilets and drippy faucets around the world to reduce my water bill and to water the yellow spots on my lawn.

I wish I could have the reps of the new people in the gym that only come out for two or three days and then quit working out since it didn't really benefit them anyway. The gym can keep their money on this one, I'll just take the wasted exercise efforts.

I wish I could rotate the clean, fresh looking carpet underneath heavy furniture that nobody can see into the busy traffic areas that are worn out.

I wish I could write about ridiculous topics and find a way to actually make a living at it. Now that's wishful thinking. Not only was I taught to eat my vegetables, but I was also told there is no such thing as a free lunch. That won't keep me from wishing. Happy Labor Day.


Kristina P. said...

I wish I could be as awesome as you.

Lori said...

I like your wishes!

Kelly said...

And Happy Birthday Chaka!

Raine said...

Great list! I hate being wasteful

Jeanne Estridge said...

I wish I had all the gasoline that gets run out of mowers in November.

Eric said...

I think you're very close (if not already there) to writing about crazy topics at the level to get paid for it.