Wednesday, August 25, 2010

20 Years of Marriage

Yesterday I celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary. I don't consider myself an expert when it comes to marriage, especially when there are others who have been married 50 years or more, but since none of those people know how to use computers, you will have to read my insights instead.

Over the last 20 years I have made a lot of dumb mistakes and said some stupid things to my wife, but none of it has been intentional. I'm just a dumb guy. Guys are lucky because we can use this excuse because it is true. I have learned that guys are pretty much insensitive, clueless, pigs and we are lucky to be able to associate with women.

I'd like to share two simple items of advice for guys that will make your marriage run smoother.

1. Don't ever make fun of any Jane Austin novel or movie or any BBC production your wife may be watching. Chicks dig British accents and manners, and fancy costumes and powdered wigs. When you are watching one of these shows and see a guy your wife admires, just agree and say he's a pretty cool guy, even if he is the biggest prissy wimp you have ever seen in your life. She will think you are a cool sensitive guy for doing so.

2. If your wife is ever mad and you don't know why, it is much smarter to pretend you know the reason. It is also a safe bet that you are the reason, so you can might as well start by making vague apologies. Making her mad is a bad thing, but being clueless about it afterwards is even worse, so just apologize for anything that may ever upset her.

I look forward to sharing some more insights after the next 20 years, but for now I will just continue to be grateful for my awesome wife and all that she does for me.


Kristina P. said...

Happy anniversary! And for me, replace Jane Austen with "trashy reality tv."

Kal said...

First of all congratulations. That is quite the milestone. I can't even imagine anyone liking me that much for 20 minutes let alone sticking it out for 20 years. But as I have been told that if I do find that person that can put up with my shit for 20 minutes then I should hang onto her like grim death - whose sweet embrace is all I got to look forward too. But hey, we were talking about

Mary Bergfeld said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope you had a terrific day and enjoyed the day. Mary

LegalMist said...

Congratulations on 20 years - and may the next 20 be even better! Happy anniversary. :)

mCat said...

I need to show #2 to my husband.

#1 doesn't apply to us as I hate all that chick stuff too! Although, he does mock me for Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Congrats on 20!!

Kelly said...

Congratulations! 20 years is significant. I like your advise as well.

MommaKiss said...

Congrats! 20 years is awesome. major milestone, so, um, here's hoping you bought here something crazy good ;)