Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Chaka's World Goes Green

I don't consider myself to be an environmentalist, but I'd still like to be able to take advantage of the "Going Green" trend like everyone else. In an effort to do my part I am pleased to announce that Chaka's World will be taking the following steps.

1. I will encourage the bagger at the grocery store to put more than one item in each plastic bag. Some days I come home with more bags than grocery items. What's up with that?

2. My posts will no longer be printed out and mailed to followers. Instead I will only do electronic posts.

3. I promise to re-gift presents I don't care for.

4. I will identify the real culprit of waste. It's not Exxon or BP, it's Oriental Trading Company. If you ever want to spend a couple dollars for a thousand party favors or trinkets which will be broken within minutes and littering your home, then it's for you.

5. I will stop wearing disposable diapers.

6. I will not be a hypocritical celebrity or politician who preaches about conserving as they travel around the country in their personal jet or go on tour with dozens of semi trucks full of equipment.

7. I will push for legislation to fine people like Tyson Gay and Usain Bolt who have no idea how to conserve their own energy. I'd like to see them start power walking instead of sprinting all the time.

In case you think I'm an uncaring sarcastic jerk, I do 1) pick up litter all the time 2) pay extra for a recycle bin for my trash, 3) compost organic material and 4) drive my wimpy scooter instead of the car or van whenever possible. I am also trying to be open minded to other simple, practical practices that can conserve energy and avoid waste.

I believe we should be good stewards of the planet we live on, but when people try to assign a carbon footprint to me in an attempt to make me feel guilty for my existence, it kind of reminds me of the selling of indulgences and it makes me want to turn on all the lights and water faucets in my home and let my cars run idle in the driveway.  I guess I can't do that sort of thing any longer since I've decided to go green.


Eric said...

'No Al Gore, I'm not going to pay you for the air I breathe!'

- some guy

Cheeseboy said...

Wait, so you're saying I am not going to get my weekly Chaka newsletter? But I have so many grocery bags full of them.

Kelly said...

Glad to hear about your efforts! Good luck going diaperless.

mCat said...

Yeah, what is it about all the grocery bags? Wally's is the biggest offender. At least I recycle them - solemnly swear

W.C.Camp said...

I leave carbon footprints all the time after I step in the puddle of oil left from my car! Oh yeah - please keep wearing the diapers though - I'm not sure the world is ready for that level of 'getting back to nature'! Great post! W.C.C.

Mary said...

I'm still laughing about #4 and #5.

Bob Sanchez said...

Admirable sentiments, Chaka. You can also buy those reusable grocery tote bags for about a buck, and refill your water bottles from the tap.

You might want to wash those diapers frequently.