Sunday, November 23, 2008

Differences Between the Sexes

I was going to call this entry "The Difference Between Men and Women", but I thought I'd experiment to see if my web traffic would go up if I use the word sex in the title of this post instead. If you are new to this blog and just got directed here from a web search, sorry to let you down, but welcome anyway. I was not smart enough to write a book about men and women and planets, but I do have some observations I'd like to share. I admit these are obvious generalizations, but for the most part they hold true. There are many differences between men and women, but I've found that the obvious physical ones are the least of them.

Shopping-I hate shopping. I don't mind buying groceries since I can anticipate eating them and food makes me happy, but if we have to go shopping let's get it done fast. The two worst places to go shopping with a woman are 1) for clothes, and 2) to a fabric store. Clothes shopping takes forever and my feet and legs will literally give out after a few minutes of following my wife around. It is painful to wait for her to try things on. She has learned not to take me along since I will rain on her parade. Fabric stores are even worse. These are stores full of bolts of fabric and patterns. There are usually only a few places to sit down and you can see tired husbands fighting for seats like a game of musical chairs. Luckily they have magazines in case you are waiting for a woman who happens to be checking out every sample of fabric in the store. Unfortunately all the magazines are about fabric!

Friends-Guys don't do a lot of talking with their friends and when they do it is usually superficial stuff like sports and movies. Most guys keep to themselves. Girls tell their friends every intimate detail about their lives. A while back I went to a movie with a friend who I had not seen for several years. We went to go see The Bourne Identity. We met at the theater and I asked how things were going and he said good. We sat down, watched the trailers, and then the movie. When it was over we walked out and we said "see ya" and left. When my wife asked how things went I told her it went well. She asked me questions about my friend that I did not know I was supposed to ask. She was appalled that we were so aloof and impersonal. Sorry we are guys.

Multi Tasking-It seems that women can do a variety of things at the same time. (One of these is usually talking on the phone). The fairer sex can carry on conversations, cook, clean, send e-mails, and discipline kids all at the same time. I need peace and quiet just to open a can of peaches. Guys are like DOS and women like Windows. Women are almost always better at multi-tasking than men except for one are...

Watching TV-I just said that men are bad mutli-taskers but this is the one exception. I can watch 3 or 4 TV shows at the same time and have excellent comprehension of each program. It's kind of like speed reading but instead of impressing people it just annoys them. A guy obviously invented the jump channel feature on a remote control. I can tell if something is worth watching in a fraction of a second. My wife is not as judgemental. She will watch a show for several minutes to decide if it has any merit. This can be frustrating when you have already determined that the channel should be changed. Women want to know what is on TV, Men want to know what else is on TV.

Self Confidence-Women are usually harder on themselves and guys are more forgiving. Women look in the mirror and complain about their imperfections regardless of how beautiful they may be. Guys look in the mirror with unwarranted confidence and are often clueless about their negative attributes. When a woman starts to gain weight she complains about getting fat. When a guy gains wait he blames his clothes for shrinking.

Men and women obviously have their differences but I have found that whenever there is a disagreement between the two, women usually end up being right (except for the channel changing scenario). It is frightening to think how lame life would be without the influence of women in our lives.


Tom said...

Since nobody wants to comment on one of my best topics ever I will add another difference. It is the superior skill that young boys and men have at making sound effects with their mouth. I have yet to see a girl excel in this field. Have you ever seen a human beatbox girl?

Kelly said...

I don't know why no one commented on this one. I laughed out loud 5 times!

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

You are the bomb, Chaka! I love it when a man can say out loud that women are right...alot! Stellar post!