Thursday, May 5, 2011

Seafood Sentiments

I obviously didn't grow up in Washington, Maine, or Louisiana because I never had fish growing up. As a result, I do not care for it. Aside from an occasional tuna sandwich, I have never enjoyed fish or any other creatures that come from the sea. Maybe because they originate from water, which I also dislike.

Many people imagine the picture on the left when they think of seafood. I envision the second.

Last week I won a gift card to Red Lobster. I've driven by that restaurant for 10 years and had never considered eating there, but I had some free food coming my way so I was willing to give it a try. I took my wife out to dinner and while we were waiting to be seated, we sat next to the tank of live lobsters.

When I say lobsters, I mean giant grasshopper-alien hybrids that had their claws rubber banded shut. They were on top of each other in piles. The smart ones were burrowed into the corners trying to look small and pretending to be dead. The dumb ones were fighting with each other and trying to look big to scare off their competition and impress the lady lobsters. Those are the ones the hungry people would pick to eat first.

Anyway, my wife ended up ordering cream of potato soup and a Cesar salad (she also suffers from fish phobia) and I had the grilled maple chicken with mashed potatoes. These were the only non seafood items on the entire menu. I kind of felt like an idiot, but my food was delicious and I got out of there without having to eat any seafood.

PS-All of you seafood loving enthusiasts can feel free to send me your hateful comments that I am a close minded pathetic soul who has no idea what good food is. I'm sorry but the whole thing is a little too fishy for me.


Kristina P. said...

You aren't alone. I love seafood, but my husband doesn't. They do have some delicious cheesy buscuits.

Cheeseboy said...

My wife hates seafood too. I absolutely love it, especially those grasshopper looking lobsters.

Let us not forget the real reason we go to that place: the cheesy buscuits.

Kal said...

My June lobster feast is an annual tradition that I look forward too each year. I can smell the cooked lobsters in my mind along with garlic butter for dipping.

Lisa Loo said...

I am a fence sitter myself. I LOVE halibut and crab--but thats about it.

But those lobster tanks--ACK--those lobster tanks!! Was there anything more horrifying??!! My husband bought a couple once when he was at the grocery store with my little girls--they made him put them in the bathtub and let them keep them as pets. Not quite his plan.

One morning Belle and Beast were inexplicably missing from their/my bathtub haven.....

Yeah--my husband has never felt the need to buy lobster since then.....

Just thought I'd share..

mCat said...

The only seafood I can handle is shrimp (if it's grilled and heavily seasoned or drowning in cocktail sauce), halibut - but only fresh in Seattle, or occasionally tilapia if it grilled or blackened and seasoned beyond tasting like fish.

So I guess you could say I hate seafood too, since I disguise and fishy taste that comes near me.

Red Handed said...

Land Ho. The lobster tail photo was taken direct from website. If you are looking for real Maine lobster, Lobster Tails, or authentic clam chowder please check out our online lobster company.